Darth Fandom is back! Today is a special day, for today is.... Star Wars: Chronicles of Christmas Part 3! Like yesterday's section of this story, here's a basic plot of what happened yesterday, written as a movie script:
SAIDGGE: Alright then, go freeze yourself to death outside.
SAIDGGE: Now is the not the time to rest.
FANDOM: I'll go on one condition.
SAIDGGE: You don't need to know the answer, youngling.
FANDOM: Did you just call me youngling?
SAIDGGE: Right, how about we go then?
And here's the main story:
Unknown Location, Polle I, 17 BBY
“You should have told me that this place would be so cold!” The youthful Darth Fandom rapidly rushed his two black-gloved hands together, attempting to warm himself up as much as possible, but failing miserably. “Are you sure,” his Sith Master, Darth Saidgge, replied, “that I didn’t warn you before we left that this journey would be awkwardly cold?” “No,” the apprentice answered, “I do not recall at all.” “Then there is nothing I can do about it.” Fandom angrily spat onto the ice-covered ground. “We’ve been walking for miles now. Isn’t there some sort of civilisation here that can provide us with something?” Suddenly, Darth Saidgge stopped walking and forced Fandom to do the same. “There’s an enemy approaching.” “I thought we were the ene—” Fandom’s sentence was halted when the ground shook terrifically. Out of the cold mist before the two Sith, a giant furry creature appeared. Silently lifting his left arm towards the animal, Fandom muttered under his breath, “W-W-W-Wampa....” As it approached its two foes, the wampa threw its two enormous arms towards the pair, barely missing. This wampa, however, was like know other Hoth-based carnivore that anyone had ever seen. A variety of large bruises and scars were visible across the beast’s torso, from head to toe. Along with this, its right eye was blood red, almost as if it had just pulled a large sharpened dagger out from its eye, and also a twisted right horn that appeared to have been shaped around a long wooden log. It was obvious that this deformed wampa had been tormented and abused by somebody, but that didn’t change the fact that it almost killed two men. Noticing this fact, Darth Saidgge pulled out the DC-14 blaster rifle that he had taken from his Lambda-class shuttle (in truth, the shuttle had actually sunken into the cold ice after Fandom and Saidgge departed from it, with all of the various items inside), aimed it at the wampa’s one shoulder, and fired. The burning blast sunk into the creature as it roared horrifically in pain. During this period, Darth Saidgge called his apprentice, “Quickly, follow me!” Unaware of what just happened, Fandom followed his master with intrigue, “Oh, I have a bad feeling about this....”
Well, please be here tomorrow, for tomorrow's part will be spooktacular.... As Friday the 13th approaches, fasten your seatbelts for the next part: The Ferocious Forest of Evil Spirits! In this breathtaking fourth installment to the epic Star Wars take on the tale of Christmas, Darth Saidgge and Darth Fandom must encounter the spectres of the past.... and the future! Be here for it, and don't be anywhere else, other than THE SITH ARCHIVES OF DARTH FANDOM! (DISCLAIMER: You can be somewhere else, I'd just much rather appreciate it if somebody was viewing this story....)
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